Friday, October 28, 2011

3 Gift-Giving Ideas To Curb Materialism In Children

First off, I would like to say, again, that I am not an expert in these matters -- but I have had many conversations with wise clients who have shared a thing or two over the years. I have clients, with great material means, who have children that remain "unspoiled", and don't carry an expectant spirit.

Likewise, I have clients who have shared their struggles with us about their children always wanting MORE MORE! (these are brave and wonderful clients to share such private details), and this, even, when some of these families don't have large incomes.

And then there are the holidays -- coming faster than we all think.

So how do we hold back the flood of consumerism, and teach our children the true meaning of gifts, giving and the upcoming holiday season? Well, some of my wiser clients might say ...

1) Explicitly Limit The Number Of Gifts Given
Parents often tend to go overboard buying presents for their little ones around birthdays and holidays -- after all, it often feels like an overflow of love AND children sure do love it.

But I know families who have always put a stated limit on Christmas and birthday presents -- and yet their children don't seem to act like they feel deprived. Christians can link Christmas gift-giving to the three gifts of the magi; others can find different spiritual reasons to not simply pour a truckload of gifts on their children. The key seems to be in creating a happy atmosphere around it, and remaining consistent.

2) Have Your Children Buy Their Friends Gifts
Why not let your kids experience what it feels like to sacrifice and give? After all, we would all want to give ALL of our friends a gift, but the truth of the matter is that we simply cannot buy a gift for everyone on our list. We have finite resources and have to allocate them accordingly. There is a line that we all have to draw in the sand for who will get gifts and who will get a card.

Giving your children a certain dollar amount to spend on gifts, or simply making them pay for their friends' gifts out of their own pocket, will teach them about making the hard choices of whom to give to, and how much, within their very limited resources.

And, of course, this assumes that they ARE giving gifts! If not, that is a great place to start.

3) Share Pertinent Financial Details
Children should be protected from adult concerns. But  that does not mean that they should be blissfully ignorant about how money works. In fact, we owe it to our children to properly explain where the family's money comes from, how it gets into the bank account, and how expenses and budgets work. With a little explanation about how your family's budget is structured, you may be able to hold back the tide of consumerism.

Again, they don't need to feel a pinch -- but they SHOULD know that gifts and items have a monetary value, and don't just get plucked from the shelves without cost.

These are just ideas to start with. It is extremely hard to curb the allure of consumerism in our culture. But in my opinion, it's a fight that every parent should consider waging in today's society of overspending and consumer debt.

Again, every family has their own approach ... but I do hope that you have thought yours through. To your family's financial health!